Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

We knew within just a few minutes of arriving at the hospital that Amelia's heart stopped beating.  Without any warning our world crashed and a barrage of decisions descended upon us... when would you like to deliver her, what will you name her, do you want to be sedated, would you like us to call your family, cremation or burial, which funeral home.... on and on and on the questions dragged.  Each one was worse than the first.  "We don't know how to do this," we kept saying, "We have never even considered these things."  But in the midst of all the chaos one question piqued our interest.

There is an organization, one I had never heard of, called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep that offers parents like us a treasure beyond words.  They are a group that coordinates volunteer photographers to come to the hospital and photograph stillborn children and their families.  I cannot fathom how difficult that must be for the photographer, but for us the gift is priceless.  I honestly count those photos as my most treasured possession.  Those pictures and these memories I'm typing are ALL I HAVE of my daughter.  Literally all I know of the child my heart longs for is contained in the photos from that night.

So that question was easily answered, YES!  Yes, we want the photographer to come... please, please, please call her.  And come she did.  Actually she drove from almost 45 minutes away and stayed with our angel and us in the hospital until almost 2 am while quietly and professionally going about her job.  This sweet photographer, Angela Spieker, put herself aside and in turn handed us more than she'll ever know.

I would like to share just a few of these sweet, heartbreaking glimpses of heaven.