We Chose Grace

I originally started these posts on another blog, one that I've had for years.  However, as I read back through my old posts it became glaringly obvious to me that I have changed.  Some of that happens naturally over time, some is the result of motherhood (and that inevitable lack of sleep) but most I'm afraid came suddenly on an ugly Friday night.

I wake up every morning with half my heart in heaven and half here on earth.  My sweet E has all the wisdom of a 2 year old and keeps my mind in reality.  But it's my sweet Amelia Grace that causes my heart to wander.  It didn't take more than a couple days after learning we were having another beautiful girl to decide we would call her Amelia (despite E's insistence that we name her Arlo?!).  Amelia and Eleanor were friends historically and the names ring beautifully together.  Amelia seemed to embody a sense of adventure, a uniqueness that we felt already existed in her little personality.  We didn't know then how right we were.

The first name came quickly, but the middle name was tricky.  We threw around ever option in the baby book, we even toyed with the idea of just giving her a middle initial like O or J, but that seemed weird.  The weeks passed and we just couldn't decide.  We finally figured we would know when she was born, when we could see her and hold her.  And then, on a Friday evening at 37 weeks in a stark hospital room with eyes filled with tears and a heart filled with grief we chose Grace. 

Amelia is unique.  Her heart stopped beating before she was born.  I know there's a word for this, but I can't bring myself to say it.  Somehow, labeling her that way doesn't do justice to the weight of our grief.  She is leading us on an adventure we never expected would enter our lives.  She's daring us to trust the Creator who called her home.  And we're choosing Grace.  We're choosing to believe God has a purpose for her and He showered us with Grace we didn't deserve. For all those reasons, we're unabashedly sharing her story.