I woke up with the sun this morning, trying to find some solace before my impossible day. I turned my Bible to Isaiah--to a passage I read at Amelia's service. I was hoping the promises of the Father would comfort me again. He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries
Four Gifts of Grace
Four Gifts of Grace
Today my Amelia turns 4. I should choose to stay quiet. Let the day and it's heavy heart pass without undue attention. I should cry alone over her grave but dry my tears and smile to the world. You know what? I'm not doing that. If I've learned anything in 4 years it's that I need GRACE. There
Down the Gravel Road
Down the Gravel Road
Just 3 blocks from my picture window, down that gravel road, nestled next to a grand oak tree lies my second child. We didn't move here last year to be near to her, but we couldn't have gotten any closer this side of heaven. My soul feels settled in this little brick home around the corner from Amelia's
For the mama who grieves...
For the mama who grieves...
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Today my heart knows joy and my soul knows grief. My second Mother's Day since Amelia was born and my first with Boone, I would be lying if I let you believe that it hurts less. Sure, tomorrow I will celebrate with abandon. I will pick flowers with my sweet Eleanor and try to look at the world
My Soul Longs
My Soul Longs
At our church, our new church, we're going through a series entitled Dear Me. The heart of the messages revolve around 4 individuals from different age groups who pen letters to their older or younger selves. I find these letters riveting, revealing the heart of an individual which is often so guarded. But as I sit in the
It's been 6 months since I've written. All my eloquent memories have been penned already. Everything I have left to say is ugly, unspeakable. I began to share our news of a new pregnancy in January, but before we had the chance the dirt of a shallow grave was beneath my fingernails. We lost another baby. Around 10
The Silence
The Silence
I remember a night just a few weeks after we brought Eleanor home from the hospital. She had colic and screamed for hours on end. This particular evening she had been wailing since long before I set supper on the table and as night fell there seemed no end in sight. I bounced her and swayed and paced
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